I had the privilege to hear Angelina M. Lopez speak yesterday on the power of women. To kick off her discussion, Lopez first asked us all to consider words that come to mind when we think of an alpha heroine in pop culture. Words like "strong," "unapproachable," and "fierce" all came to mind along with someone who is a great fighter, emotionally distant and is one of the guys. That's when Lopez pointed out these conventional male modalities have become stereotypes assigned to strength. As such, the stereotypical alpha heroines tend to model typical men so much that their characters have lost anything that identifies them as female other than physical features. How could this happen, you ask? Men were the writers.

Next, Lopez asked us to write characteristics about the strongest women we know in our own lives and traits that define their strength. Now the words were different. "Dependable," "committed," "protective," "persistent," "consistent," "smart," "determined," and "driven." Along with these words came a host of authentic examples of strong women who didn't have to act like one of the guys to be a fierce female. Stories of women keeping the house, with husbands that couldn't hold down a job, or keeping the family together in times of stress all came to mind.

Now, I'll stop here to mention that there are a few movies and books where we do see fierce alpha heroines with femininity, but they often stand apart from the crowd because of their unique characteristics. A few that were mentioned were Steel Magnolias, 9 to 5, Erin Brockovich, and Aliens. How do we know these fit the mold? The lead characters could not be replaced by men and have the same story. As much as it pains me to say, Lara Croft in Tomb Raider could just as easily turn into Lucas Croft, and nothing would change in the game's plot at all.

To help create fierce female heroes, Lopez suggested a few rules that help keep them number one. The list of rules included ten, but I'll list the ones that stood out to me here.

They figure out what they want in life.

Lara Croft wants the golden Aztec idol. Lt. Eve Dallas wants to get the serial killer before he strikes again. But what about Blanche Devereaux or any of The Golden Girls? They know exactly what they want, and each of them is remarkably female in their way. As a result, each of them also has a unique approach to getting their goal.

They look after their mind and body.

What might come to mind here is a woman going at a punching bag in a training montage in a boxing movie, but consider the strong women in your own lives. This could also be a woman who, no matter what doesn't skip her skin cream or never misses church on Sunday. Another example could be a woman with two kids screaming in the back seat, stuck in traffic on the way to school, muttering a prayer under her breath before she rummages through her purse to find her signature lipstick.

They understand that selfishness isn't always bad.

Stereotypical maternal characters put others first, but that doesn't have to be the default all of the time. Consider my grandma, who in every way embodies the classic southern grandmother, until Thursday morning when the kitchen is closed for a hair appointment she's held for decades.

Know of a strong female story or example I've missed? Please drop me a comment below. I'm always on the hunt for good stories.

Until next time,

Kathryn