Kathryn K. Murphy

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How to carve out time in the chaos

I have a feeling you're a busy person, and if you're anything like me, the holiday season has a way of making that busyness much more chaotic. It seems like every time I turn around I have at least four to-do lists for different part of my life. I have a feeling if you're reading this post, you are in the same boat as me, just trying to stay afloat.

As I'm sure you know, the holidays have a nasty habit of shoving goals and routines to the side, and it is essential that we carve out time for ourselves in this chaos. I suspect this temporary lapse in focus prompts most of our resolutions for the new year as a way to get back to center. This November, I was concerned about maintaining a writing routine. As National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, comes to a close, I can start reflecting on what I've learned from doing it. Before I share what helped me, here are some stats:

  • For the first time, I'm on track to hit my goal during November, which is a hectic month for me.

  • I wrote 1,000 words, if not more, a day for the entire month and I plan to continue to do so for the remaining four days.

  • I will have added 30,000 words to my sequel in this series despite everything else going on

After reflecting on the month, I came away with four ground rules that made this achievement possible. I firmly believe these strategies will help you reach whatever goal you're tackling right now, even through the holiday season. Here's what helped me:

1. Accountability and community

Everyone knew I was doing this, not just my family and closest friends, but my students and coworkers knew too. Every night I posted my word counts on my social media stories where they were displayed for everyone to see for twenty-four hours. My best friend was in the trenches with me, and we'd check in with each other, pushing each other to write. We had great success racing each other through word sprints, where we took turns setting a timer and then writing in a crazed frenzy before the timer was up. Whoever had more words won that challenge. I'm sure I've done a poor job of making it sound that helpful, but trust me it was.

2. Setting a time that works for you

I said at the beginning, as I always do, I would get up early. Did you hear that? It's my husband laughing in the background. I also planned to write at work during lunch. When my coworkers read that sentence, they’ll probably let out a bark of laughter too. (We have an eighteen-minute lunch.) So while those two plans started great, working with my natural rhythms worked so much better. When I did write at five in the morning, I managed a measly five hundred words in ninety minutes. Late last night, I hit five hundred and change in fifteen minutes. I'm not sure how to describe the difference or how to find your natural rhythm, but suffice it to say that if it feels like you're beating your head against the wall, then that probably isn't the best activity for that time.

3. Focus on one thing at a time

Sure, I can run through my to-do lists forty-five times, panicking about each task. I can also spiral down into a black hole of self-doubt like you wouldn't believe. Work stress can eat me away like old battery acid, or I can shove all of that out of my brain and sit down and focus on what is in front of me at that moment. Easier said than done, for sure.

I'm still practicing this, and I'm not sure I'll ever be great at compartmentalization, but at least sitting down and forcing myself to get started did help. Whenever I would get overwhelmed by thinking too far ahead, or worrying about the what-ifs, I try to remind myself what I can do at that moment. Those options in front of me are my agents of change, and without taking those baby steps, I'll be stuck worrying about the future instead of taking action to move forward.

4. Go easy on yourself

A lady I admire once told me the saying, "In simplicity there is elegance." As with most wise sayings, I didn't fully grasp the value of this way of living when I first heard it. I'm still learning (often the hard way) that if you try to do too much, not much gets done well. Heading into NaNoWriMo, I knew I had a lot going on. I also knew I'd never finished the month still writing; therefore, I made the call to lower my target, and have a growth mindset. I've heard people comment that lowering their expectations sounds like a bad thing, but I disagree. Changing our goals permits us to focus more on less. No one said everything had to be perfect. We have to keep trying our best no matter what time of year it may be.

I'll be upfront. I'm not going to get the "You win!" email. I didn't meet the official 50,000 words. I knew that going in. Regardless of what the email says, I am so happy that I managed to continue to circle back to my goal every night despite what life was throwing at me. That in itself is a huge personal win.

Aside from the holiday to-dos, what are you focusing on this holiday season? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

Onward,

Kathryn